it doesn’t matter, it’s not important

Standard

When someone says:

It doesn’t matter

Nobody else can hear either

It’s not important

You’ll just have to get over it

You are lucky you don’t have to hear this

You must live in a nice peaceful world

What you hear, what you understand, is that you arent important, that you don’t matter.

They are hurtful, demeaning comments. They aren’t meant that way, but they are.

I can see that in some ways these words don’t matter, most of what is said is trivia, and to get stressed and worked up about it won’t make anything better.
It’s best to be Zen about it all.

I will have to get over it, to suck it up, but somehow having someone else tell you it, well that hurts.
This blog is part of that process, as are martinis.
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5 responses »

  1. I hate that, when I get the ‘it wasn’t important’ line back when I’ve asked what was said. I’m not asking whether something was of value to be heard or not, I’m capable of my own judgement about that. What I’m asking is to have the same fair share of information that everyone else has in that conversation has… isn’t that what communication requires?

    Most people with ‘normal’ hearing do not realise that hearing loss = communication loss. Heck, even with my own hearing loss it took me a couple of years to realise that.

    – Marnie

  2. I was with friends today, they chatted to one another, so I finally said “you asked me to join you yet you look at each other and not at me, I cannot see your faces”. They apologised then proceeded to chat, but one had hand in front of mouth – Oh! they mean well. I was glad to leave and come home.

  3. I’m a newbie…I really enjoy your blog.
    People with normal hearing don’t understand deafness, they simply don’t get it. Some days I tolerate, other days I get so irratated.
    I just keep going, what else can I do?

    Kym

  4. Hmmm – I know exactly what you mean. It annoys me so much when people (mostly family!) say that it’s not important. What they fail to realise is that I end up thinking that everybody else heard it and so why can’t I know about it too!? I have attempted to explain this to them but end up with the feeling that I am making a big fuss about nothing!!

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