I often feel that I have to justify having a hearing loss. Sometimes I think I am making a fuss about nothing and that I am just being thick, that I could hear if only I was sharper, more intelligent, paid attention more, concentrated, tried harder. Other time I think that I really am profoundly deaf and that others just don’t realise how little I hear, how hard it is, how hard I try.
This more or less sums up why I started this blog, to try and come to terms with my hearing loss, and to try to educate others about hearing loss and how if affects people.
Even though I have been accepted for a cochlear implant, and in spite of many audiologists telling me that I have a profound and complicated loss I still feel somehow at fault for not being able to communicate easily. That I could hear better if I tried, that I should be able to lipread more easily. Even though at my CI assessment I scored only 38% in the HINT test, and this was more than they expected from someone with an audiogram such as mine.
Audiologists have told me that my hearing loss is hard to correct, because of the good low frequency range. I’ve sometimes wondered if some selective noise pollution could be used to destroy that hearing so that it wouldnt get in the way of the hearing aid amplification. My last audiologist looked horrified when I said that, but you feel desperate. Life with a hearing loss can be a bloody struggle at times, and it leaves a few scars.
Well I do have an audiogram somewhere. I posted it on Sara’s blog with her collection. That made me feel better as it was nestling in there down at the bottom. Its the grey line that starts high, drops down rapidly and goes up again. (that reminds me of the Monty Python Dinosaur sketch – no captions but the script is here )
But what the heck, here it is in numbers
Un Aided – both ears are pretty much the same.
So there it is, Anonymous, is this what you wanted to know? BTW I’m curious about why is was an anonymous post on behalf of a others. I am uncomfortable with that and would prefer it if you would identify yourself. Send me a message and I won’t publish it if you don’t want me to.
PS, Dear Readers, 😉 please vote in the poll if you haven’t already.