another updatey thing

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Just a quicky.

I had a new map added yesterday, some tweaking here and there. Seems I am doing just fine on the technical side of things. An audiogram showed that the residual hearing is almost what it was before surgery. So all well and good there.

The new map is great in some respects but somehow seems quieter. I went into work this am for some training and was able to hear better except in some rooms when it was much worse. All very odd. Damn those acoustics.

The real reason for a short post is that I am feeling rather battered emotionally. One minute smiling and grinning like a Cheshire cat, then blubbing because I can hear Holst’s The Planet Suite. ( Britons will understand this reference more I think. Tunes such as “Land of Hope and Glory”, “I Vow to Thee my Country” Stirring stuff, yes I know I’m an expat but it’s in your blood somehow). Then one thing goes wrong and I am a floppy wet dishcloth of a wreck. Did anybody warn me of this?? No. Well to be fair Glenice did mention something but most CI bloggers don’t seem to have had the same problem. Maybe it’s just me.

One thing I find particularly disturbing in both a good and bad way is that after all these years of being trapped by my hearing loss into being someone I am not, now the old me is bubbling under the surface. It’s rather scary and exciting.

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9 responses »

  1. That is so interesting. I think most people thing this isn't normal and don't mention it!

    You have to reinvent yourself. Have fun with it. Examine it. Bring it out into the light of day and taste it, smell it, touch it.

    Big hugs and thanks for your honesty!

  2. you are on a roller coaster love. so many weeks of anticipation, maybe apprehension and now the reality and having to cope with strange sounds, wondering what they are. I would guess it is a time of being "on edge" and "alert" but so tiring and draining.

    all best wishes to you. RD. UK

  3. Mog, your last paragraph is about the most intimately observed and moving comment about being CI'd that I have ever read. It's also one that deeply resonates with my own feelings about hearing loss — and just might turn out to be one that tips me into finally deciding to have that bloody surgery.

  4. It doesn't surprise me Mog. You've been through a lot!

    When I read about all the sounds you can hear again, I wondered how that might feel for you.

    From my experience getting my new hearing aids and suddenly being able to hear more, on one hand I felt 'Wow, this is excellent!" but also the new HAs also made it very obvious how much I was missing for so many years. I think I went through a period of mourning a loss but in a 'Star Trek, there's a glitch in the time warp continuum' sort of way. 'I wish I had done this sooner' sort of lamenting. Bitter sweet almost.

    I'm looking forward to seeing more of you bubbling up… a volcano eruption of Mogness!
    ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. I've said it before Mog, but I just can't imagine this new world opening up to you again – it must surely be quite overwhelming in tons of ways as your senses are assaulted on a daily basis so it is no surprise that emotions are all over the shop!

    I recall my brother putting in hearing aids for the first time in years – it was just too much and he frequently, and surreptitiously just switched them off. Some sounds just exploded into his head and others he was rather glad not to have heard for years. He did say they were good for tuning car engines though !!

    Now then, the "old" you that is bubbling under the surface – how is she these days? Won't it be fun to meet her again?

  6. Just back from a week away. Sounds like you're doing great with your CI – only just over a week to go for my assessment (having shun the thought for years but now have nothing to lose). It WOULD be lovely to hear music again – I can imagine this time will be a rollercoaster for you. Its good to know what I might expect…if I get that far…

  7. I think it is fantastic that mog is resurfacing. What will we discover? What will you discover? It could be very exciting.

    Glad to read that your adventure in CI land is going well. You seem to making good progress.

    I am happy for you.

  8. Thanks for the update. I am impressed to hear that you kept most of your residual hearing. It's my biggest fear of losing with CI. How much residual hearing did you lose/keep for each frequency? This information will let me learn what I can expect for my own hearing and how much residual hearing a CI will take. I also posted a long thread in my forum and replied to your comment you left me.

    Thanks again for your time ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Ah. Here I sit reading, knowing, understanding and a bit relieved that someone else is sharing this part of the process. Thank you Mog. You are entitled to every feeling, every tear, every smile and every note you hear. Take your time and please accept my cyber hug (( )).

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